pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
