i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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