she was so not down for the gang bang
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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