im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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