Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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