i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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