You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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