i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
God I need to hump something, right now.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
