she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
