Say something about gay babies.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
