please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
