My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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