I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
