Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
