Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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