My hand turned me down
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Bring me that man meat
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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