I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
