its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
