It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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