i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
