I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
