remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
