a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
