If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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