considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
