Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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