I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Randomize
