Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
