what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Did I show you my penis last night?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
