Your tits are I can't wait for
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
