Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
