I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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