chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
His nipple licking is glorious
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