elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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