ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
