somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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