Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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