oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
