ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
