he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
