Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
