I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
