I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I CAN MOONWALK!
i think i have herpe
just one?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
