hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
