trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
