the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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