I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I want to make a zoo with you.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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