making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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