i wish there were pregnant emoticons
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
