You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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